Wheels-Near-U blog

Motor Critic of the Week

Posted in Motor Critic of the Week,Wheels-Near-U-UK by Wheels Near U Team on the September 28th, 2007

This week rather than focus on one motor critic we are going to look at quotes from the non motor related arena. From Bill Bryson the world famous american writer to George Bernard Shaw the well known Irish literary critic this weeks Motor critics probably never expected to feature on Wheels-Near-U, but their quotes are both funny and noteworthy.

Billie Holiday: Motor CriticGermans are flummoxed by humour, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.” – Bill Bryson(American Writer)

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” – Will Shriner (American Comedian born in 1953)

They think they can make fuel from horse manure – Now, I don’t know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it’s sure gonna put a stop to siphoning” – Billie Holiday (American jazz singer from the 1930s to the 1950s)

Ernest Hemingway - Motor Critic of the WeekThere are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.” – Ernest Hemingway (American novelist who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1954)

What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?” – George Bernard Shaw (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist who won the 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature)

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Motor Critic of the Week: James May

Posted in Motor Critic of the Week,Wheels-Near-U-UK by Wheels Near U Team on the September 21st, 2007

James May: Top Gear Presenter: Motor Critic

James May is an award winning journalist best known for presenting Top Gear, alongside Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond. Once a week he writes a column in the motoring section of The Daily Telegraph.

Nicknamed Captain slow for his laid back approach to track racing, he is one of the few people that has been able to take a Bugatti Veyron to its maximum speed of nearly 253mph (one third the speed of sound.)

James May and Jeremy Clarkson were the first people (aided by a small Icelandic support crew) to drive to the Magnetic North Pole in a customised Toyota pickup truck. James was also, according to Jeremy – “the first man to reach the Magnetic North Pole who didn’t really want to go there in the first place.”

Heres some of his classic James May Motoring quotes:

He’s not sure whether he’s driving, or in a branch of Dixons.” – Honda S2000

What’s the Norwegian for “Oh, cock”?

I’ve just noticed, looking though these results, that ten of the thirteen bottom cars are French.” – Top Gear Survey

Would the Element be a car for people who like hip-hop, or for people waiting for a hip-op?” – Honda Element

Actually, this is why it’s called the F360, this model. You drive along and you go ‘ffffffff’ and you do a 360!” – Ferrari F360 handling

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Motor Critic of the Week: Richard Hammond

Posted in Motor Critic of the Week,Wheels-Near-U-UK by Wheels Near U Team on the September 14th, 2007

Richard Hammond Motoring Quotes

Richard Hammond – Presenter of Top Gear on BBC – nicknamed “Hamster” by his co-hosts Jeremy Clarkson and James May is this weeks Motor Critic of the Week.

Born in Birmingham Richard has been in tv and radio for years, as well as Top Gear he also co-hosts the live annual motor show (MPH) held at Earls Court and the Birmingham NEC with Jeremy Clarkson and Tiff Needell (Fifth Gear) and presents the show ‘Brainaic: Science Abuse’.

You may also read his weekly column covering motor related topics, which can be found in the motoring section of the Daily Mirror (Fridays.)

He sustained a serious brain injury in September 2006, in a high speed crash at 288 mph but has since made a full recovery, coming back on air for a top gear episode just 4 months later!

Ever the committed Journalist, comic quoter and general good bloke – Richard Hammond – Motor Critic of the Week – here’s some of his classic quotes:


the Hyundai Accent, which is wretched, whatever engine it has, but we were particularly depressed with three-cylinder diesel version. It really is less fun than drowning!” – Hyundai Accent

The last time I saw plastic like this it contained Tic-Tacs.” – American Car Dashboard

Understeer works like this: [moving a model of a Ford Focus] you drive down the road, turn the wheel, but the car goes straight on, crashes into a tree and you die. Oversteer works like this: [moving a model of a BMW series 3] you drive down the same bit of road, turn the wheel, but the back of the car comes round like this [showing how the car does a 180], and you go off the road, crash into a tree and you die. Now, oversteer is best, because you don’t see the tree that kills you.” – Understeer and Oversteer

My life is now in the hands of A-level physics.” – Sitting in a car in Germany, waiting to be struck by lightening

Don’t forget, she was only half a second a mile behind you, and she was in this van.” – Mocking Jeremy Clarkson’s lap of the Nürburgring.

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